How to use this template
The template below has three parts: a header for the date, who attended, and who is taking notes; five agenda prompts to work through in order; and a decisions table with columns for the decision, who is doing it, and by when. There is also space for other notes. Fill it in on screen or print a blank copy for each meeting and keep the completed pages together in a folder.
Before the meeting
- Include the person at the center. If the meeting is about an older relative's household, they should be invited and asked what they want to talk about. Plan the time and place around them.
- Pick a time that works for most people. A 30- to 45-minute video or phone call on a weekend afternoon is often easier than a long in-person gathering. Relatives who live far away can join by phone.
- Share the agenda a few days ahead. Send the five prompts so people can think before they arrive. Ask everyone to add any topic they want covered.
- Choose a note-taker and a timekeeper. These can rotate from meeting to meeting so no one person always carries the load.
During the meeting
Work through the agenda in order. Starting with what is going well sets a steadier tone than starting with problems, and it gives credit to the people already helping.
Upcoming dates and visits is a quick calendar pass: appointments that need rides, holidays, travel, and who is visiting when. Keep it to logistics.
Household tasks and who is doing them is usually the longest item. If you have filled in the family responsibilities checklist, bring it. Ask whether each task is still covered and whether anyone needs to hand something off.
Questions and concerns is the space for anything that does not fit elsewhere. Let each person speak without interruption. If a topic is too large to settle in one meeting, write it down as a decision to follow up on, with a name and a date.
End with the next meeting date, so the next conversation is already on the calendar.
Write decisions down clearly
A decision is only useful if everyone remembers it the same way. For each row in the decisions table, write a specific action ("Call the gutter company for a quote"), one name, and a real date ("By Friday, Nov. 6"). Avoid entries like "Someone will look into it."
Before you close, read the decisions table aloud so everyone can confirm their part.
After the meeting
Share the notes within a day or two. Copy the decisions into the Family Responsibility Planner or onto a household communication board.
For ideas on starting harder conversations, see preparing for family conversations, and for splitting chores fairly, dividing household responsibilities.
Common questions
How often should we hold a family meeting?
There is no set rule. Many families meet once a month, or more often when something is changing, such as a move or a new schedule. Setting the next date at the end of each meeting keeps them regular.
Should the older relative attend?
If the meeting is about their household, yes, they should be invited and their wishes should lead. They are adults with their own preferences, and decisions about their home are theirs to make.
What if the meeting gets tense?
Pause and return to the agenda. Write the issue down as a follow-up with a name and a date, and move on. Agreed ground rules, such as one speaker at a time, can help.
Are my notes saved?
Anything you type is saved only in the browser on this device and is not sent to Zeitlos. Print or download the PDF to share the notes with family.